Advice For Children

Supporting Children Through Grief

Gentle Guidance When Words Are Hard to Find

Talking to children about death can feel difficult. Many worry about saying the wrong thing, but with calm, honest and gentle guidance, it is possible to help children understand what has happened in a way that feels safe and reassuring.

At Thompson Brothers & Sons, Craig and Simon support families across Sunderland, Washington and Houghton-le-Spring with clear, thoughtful guidance.

Every child experiences grief in their own way. Some may talk openly, others may become quiet, and some may express their feelings through play, drawing or changes in behaviour.

There is no right way to grieve - only their way. With patience and support, children can begin to understand loss at their own pace.

1 - Use Clear and Honest Words

Simple, honest language is usually best.

While it can feel easier to soften the truth, phrases such as “gone to sleep” or “lost” can sometimes confuse or worry children.

Being honest, in a way that suits their age, helps them feel safe and builds trust.

Children may ask the same questions more than once as they try to understand. You do not need to have every answer. Listening calmly is often enough.

2 - Create a Safe Space for Feelings

Children express grief in many different ways - through talking, silence, play, tears or frustration. Let them know:

  • it is okay to feel sad

  • it is okay to ask questions

  • it is okay not to know how they feel

When feelings are accepted, children feel more secure and supported.

3 - Listen Gently

Try to listen more than you speak.

Allow children to talk when they are ready, without pressure.

Simple reassurance such as “I’m here if you want to talk” or “that sounds really hard” can make a real difference.

Feeling heard helps children feel safe.

4 - Provide Reassurance and Routine

After a loss, children may worry about what will change.

Reassure them that they are still loved, cared for and supported.

Keeping familiar routines, such as school, mealtimes and bedtime, can provide comfort and stability.

Small consistencies can help reduce anxiety during uncertain times.

5 - Gentle Ways to Support Expression

Some children find it easier to express their feelings through activities rather than words. You may find it helpful to:

  • create a memory box with photos, drawings or letters

  • read stories together

  • encourage drawing or colouring

  • light a candle in memory

  • write a message or letter together

These moments often create natural opportunities for conversation.

6 - Books That May Help

For younger children:

  • The Invisible String - Patrice Karst

  • Badger’s Parting Gifts - Susan Varley

  • I Miss You: A First Look at Death - Pat Thomas

  • Goodbye Mog - Judith Kerr

Goodbye Mog - Judith Kerr

  • The Memory Box - Joanna Rowland

  • When Dinosaurs Die - Laurie Krasny Brown

  • Michael Rosen’s Sad Book - Michael Rosen

For teenagers:

  • Sad Isn’t Bad - Michaelene Mundy

  • You Will Be Okay - Julie Stokes

  • Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers - Earl A. Grollman

  • keeping ashes at home

Reading together can help children recognise their feelings and understand they are not alone.

7 - Additional Support

If a child is struggling or needs extra support, there are organisations that can help. National support services include:

  • Child Bereavement UK

  • Winston’s Wish

  • Cruse Bereavement Support

  • Samaritans

We can also help you find local support, including counselling services and community groups. Please speak to us if you would like guidance - we are always here to help.

You Are Not Alone

Supporting a child through grief takes time, patience and understanding.

You do not have to face it alone.

If you would like to talk, we are here to listen.

If you need guidance, we are here to support you.

We are here to guide you - one step at a time.